I don’t know what is going wrong, but at the moment everything I touch seems to turn to … well nothing.

My WIP has been analyzed and comments have been welcomely received, yet I sit behind my computer every morning and every evening and never actually do a thing. I just sit and stare at it utterly lost.  I know what I need to do, what I need to change, and I guess it is partly just a matter of not knowing where to begin. Also I am slightly afraid that if I start changing too much, I will end up completely re-writing the whole novel and that was not the advice I had. It was more a case of being a renovation and not a tear down project.

I am keen to not destroy the good work I have done, but at the same time am as eagerly keen to make these changes and make my novel not just ok, but good… dare I even say great.

It doesn’t help that my job has been crazy busy recently, and seems to become more and more unfulfilled as the days progress. It probably doesn’t help that today should have been payday but it hasn’t happened because our accountant missed her train yesterday and so never pushed the button!!!

I used to have a great rhythm with my writing. I woke at 5am and wrote until around 6 when the kids woke up, then wrote in my lunch break – all 30 minutes – and then again in the evening. Recently however, my daughter spends on average 4 out of 7 nights in our bed with us, and is awake around 5.30 about 5/6 out of 7 days and thus eliminates my morning write. I really found this woke me up for the day and got me into the office feeling good about myself. I haven’t taken a lunch break in… well, I think maybe twice all year so far. So there is another 30 minutes gone. By the time I get home, and the kids are in bed, I am so tired from my day that I just cannot concentrate and seem to find myself distracted by everything when it comes time to write.

What I do get done is invariably completely forced and void of any of the natural flow I am so used to.

I sat down this morning to write a short story I have had brewing for some time, but after about 600 words, just as I was looking to start the conclusions, I realized it was a load of waffle.

Hopefully my daughter will start sleeping better soon, and I can get some regular writing done again. Until then, I will of course keep plodding away and hoping that tonight will be the night it all clicks together once again.

 

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5 thoughts on “In A Rut

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself…Do whatever it takes. It’s Friday, have a beer, smoke one if you like to partake, just relax and let the writing go. It will come back to you, it always has! Take this time to chill out you too much on the plate!

  2. Alex – today I went out and bought a moleskine notebook with Acid-free pages and with it I was able to write outside sipping a chai latte – It is the most honest writing I have done in some time – Computers are not always congruent to a breakthrough in my humble opinion. Sometimes allowing yourself to not only think outside the box but live outside the box for a while is refreshing – 🙂

    1. That sounds like heaven. I have often thought about taking up a diary. I mean blogging is one thing, but my mind is often a fast moving jumble. Too many thoughts coming all at once.
      Real writing, with pen and paper is a truly wonderful experience, and can never be replaced by the keyboard. Not truly.

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