It’s Monday morning, so I thought I would start the week of easy. Also, I hadn’t had time to prepare anything more in-depth. I apologize.
This post follows on from a discussion I had with a few friends last week, and now I put it to you. A good, old-fashioned ‘Who Would Win’ post.
Today’s combatants are:
In the blue corner:
while fighting out of the red corner is:
Alright you guys, This fight is schedule for 4 rounds, I want a good clean fi….ah fuck it, just go kill each other!
Both fighters come out swinging. The opening moments are cagey, neither combatant wanting to give their game plan away too early. This fight could be decided by a single moment, and they know it.
Queen throws a tail strike, but Blair avoids it, countering with a whip of his own canine tail. The queen takes a hit but it was nothing more than a glancing blow The queen moves fast, scurrying around her slower opponent, she lashes out with a claw. The razor-sharp nail misses, but the blow brings the contest back onto an even footing.
After a nervy first round, the second sets itself for more of the same. The fighters circle each other, Blair snarls and swipes out with a long clawed jab, Queen takes the hit, shakes it off and launches a short flurry of shots that take Blair by surprise.
Blair drops it arms, dips it shoulder, to throw a punch. Queen telegraphs it and moves to one side, but doesn’t see the tail lunge over Blair’s shoulder. A direct hit. Teeth sink into the flesh. Queen roars in pain, but the rabid end of Blair’s tail releases its grip, yapping in agony, as the acidic blood burns its gums. With its jaw melted, the bulbous end of Blair’s tale is nothing more than dead weight. Just a second, Blair whips its tail again, swinging it like mace. Queen takes the shot to the side of the head and falls into the ropes just as the bell sounds.
After an action packed second round, both fighters are already starting to show signs of wear and tear. The corner have been unable to stop the flow of blood from Queens wound, and the ring is being dissolved as a result. I hope we get a winner soon, it would be a shame to have the decision come down to a technicality.
A quiet round, only briefly brought to life by a vicious tail strike from Queen. A cut is opened up on Blair’s chest, but he easily dodges the spear strike to close out the round.
We’ve reached the final round with everything still to play for. Both fighters have earned their right to be here at the end, but will they both be standing at the end bell. Blair is slower out of the corner, the wound across his chest seems to be bothering him.
Queen raises her head, she can smell opportunity. Out of nowhere, she charges Blair, who seems dazed. Unable to block the attacked, the fighters hit the floor. A flurry of shots ring out. The tails interlock, claws slash and cleave flesh from the bone. A co-mingled roar echoes around the arena as the scent of blood drives both combatants wild. Blair is pinned beneath the Queen, she leans over, applying all of her body weight. She opens her mouth, spit burns a hole through Blair’s face. I think we all know what’s coming. The attack tongue slowly extends out of the Queen’s gaping maw. But what’s this, Blair Thing is smiling, it’s laughing. Oh my god, Queen thinks she’s won but watch. Blair Thing is changing, it must have absorbed some of the Alien DNA during that final attack of Round 3. It’s assimilating with the Alien into … Queen Thing.
With a ferocious kick of its new powerful legs, Queen Thing frees itself and jumps to its feet. Three attack tongues shoot from its body and lock on to their target. Queen struggles but she can’t move, she is paralyzed. Thing moves in for the kill, and there it is folks. A decapitation to end the fight.
and the Winner is: The
Blair (Queen) Thing
What a fight that was. For a while there the fight could have gone either way, but in the end, the assimilation factor made the difference.
Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together one last time as we remember the fallen and salute the victory.