A week ago today, I lost my car keys. Damned things cannot be found anywhere.

It is strange how one such thing can impact your life and so many ways, and send out spinning off into a world you hardly recognize with absolutely no control.

Not only is the cost of a new key somewhat astronomical (250 Euro) but it takes two days to get done, and could only be ordered in person, which meant I had to wait all week and only got to report it yesterday.

In the mean time, I am being driven into work by a colleague, and have no more control over my life.

I am a passenger in his car just as much as I have been made a passenger in my own existence. I like doing things my way, according to my schedule. It doesn’t feel right that I am on longer doing this.

I leave for work at 06.50 arrive at 07.30 and leave at 16.00 on the dot. This guy picks me up at 07.45 and works until he feels like going home. Or so last week would seem. Twice is was almost 18.00 before we left and 19:00 before I was home. Just in time to put the kids to bed.

I just sit in the car, drifting along the highway no more able to contribute than if I can control the cars that zoom around us. Now, I am not a nervous passenger, but it just doesn’t feel right to not be doing anything. Not to mention, what is my role? Am I there to provide conversation, to sit silently and enjoy the odd daydream that comes my way. I just don’t know.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for the lift each morning, but I just can’t ever feel comfortable not having a set time for things. If I’m gonna work late, I am ok with that, but I need to know a time I am working til, then I can plan, adjust, not just ok let’s go…. oh wait… ok, let’s go… wait! It just makes me feel on edge.

Not to mention that despite travelling on the same route as I normally would do, he takes different exits and ‘shortcuts’ that I don’t and that too just doesn’t sit properly with me. I like to do things in order, in a set way.  I’m not saying my entire week is ruined, but I certainly notice the disruption more than I would have hoped to.

Is this just one of my many idiosyncratic issues, or are other people completely thrown of kilter when something changes around them like this?

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Off My Game

  1. I am the same way!!!! A month ago my laptop died and that was my primary writing computer (I can’t use a desktop. First it’s used by multiple family members and I don’t like being restricted to a certain location). And since then I haven’t been the same. I tried typing via cell phone but my right hand started cramping (my main cell hand). Now I’m waiting until my birthday (my mom promised to buy me a computer!). So I know that feeling of losing something that can totally ruin your usual habits! I’ve been wanting to write and blog, but I just can’t the same way!

  2. Ugh I HATE not having the independence of my own car. 😦 A couple of years ago I had an operation and wasn’t allowed to drive for two weeks. It was awful so I feel your pain. When do you get your keys back?

  3. You are a quirky character Alex! I do feel your pain though. I had to give up my car last year, and now the ‘family’ car is very much my husband’s and I only get to use it when he’s not working. At first I didn’t mind but now it is starting to bite. I have decided that I need a big book deal purely to finance my own car, so I can have my independence back! Hope things are settling down again now.

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