Movie Review: John Dies at the End.

John Dies 1

Where to begin with a review of possibly the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. I read the book to this a few weeks ago, and I will admit, it took me a little while to get into. Once I was in however, I was in all the way. It was an engrossing novel and I loved it. Coming into this movie, I had high hopes. Knowing what a wonderfully creative plot lay ahead of me, it must have been a film maker’s dream to transpose the book onto the silver screen. 

I can't believe I just made this movie. The book was so good!
I can’t believe I just made this movie. The book was so good!

I was wrong

This movie blew in so many different ways I am not sure where to begin. Having read the book, I knew what was happening and could follow it for most of the way, but people coming into it without this experience would probably find themselves lost in a sea of randomness. The story was, in my eye a pile of bollocks, with so much being left out, not including many crucial scenes, and several characters, including one who played  a large part in a crucial scene in the book. It was a scene in Las Vegas as a performance of a certain Marconi, who was in the movie, but whose part was underplayed and changed in several ways.

Some odd stuff was good, but too much was missed.
Some odd stuff was good, but too much was missed.

The humor of the book was missing, the scope of story was gone, let down in almost every direction.

This movie could have been amazing, it could have been great, hell, even if done badly it could still have been good. What is was however, was butchered, savagely butchered in the way a family of forest dwelling inbreds would butcher the still warm carcass of a high school prom queen and her football star boyfriend.

Oh My GOD, I just watched the final cut!
Oh My GOD, I just watched the final cut!

There were a couple of redeeming features, some of the odd ball scenes, the ones that made it into the movie, were well done, and the meat monster scene at the start was pretty cool to watch. Yet sadly, even the always enjoyable Paul Giamatti couldn’t save this one. After Lady in the Water, you would have thought he would learn his lesson.

They claim John Dies at the End, but if you are lucky, you will die long before you reach the ending.

Maybe I am being over harsh, it could be that the book is just way better as a medium, especially for expressing such a wonderfully rich story. I don’t know, all I do know is that there was a lot of potential, and it was a missed opportunity. In a world where remakes seem to be planned before the original is out, this would be one movie that I would rather queue up to see remade.

Hollywood, you could have done so much better. This film should have been original, it should have been daring and taking the audience out of their comfort zone, just like the book. It’s a shame you failed so majorly.

Star

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