It has been a long time since I wrote something for this blog…
In the past 12 months, I have started too many posts with that same sentence.
It is not through any lack of enjoyment that these circumstances come to pass, but simply because life is busy as fuck, and when it comes down to it, this blog is the one thing I can always cut from my schedule.
I never set the world on fire with my posts, and growth has stalled since mid 2013 anyway.
Yet, for all of my neglect, I cannot bring myself to actually say goodbye to this place. I know that as a writer, I need an outlet. I need a place to build this mythical fucking platform.
To some people the notion of branding comes easily. They can put themselves out there in a way that creates something unique. I can’t do that. I am not afraid of going out there, and making a fool of myself, but when I try, it doesn’t seem genuine.
So fuck branding. I’m just going to stick to writing, and chatting with people, and take it from there. My brand might just be that I am fucking middle of the road ordinary.
I have 5 kids, a busy and overly stressful day job and books to write. Thinking about trying to find a way to present myself to others in a way that makes them want to buy my books just makes me laugh. I’m a moderately overweight thirty something man, I don’t sleep enough, drink enough (water or alcohol), I have a problem with authority and swear like a motherfucker.
So yeah, I am done with branding. I’m just going to be me, an average joe who says fuck too much, and if people have a problem with it, well that’s just fine.
I’m big enough (in all dimensions) and ugly enough to not care, and to know my life will probably not ever go the way I want. The chance of me being a full time writer with a family as large as mine is slim, and even slimmer if I waste my time trying to create some false image of myself when I could actually be doing some writing.
My productivity in the last quarter of the year has been better than ever, and you know what, my books are selling. They are selling they are being reviewed, both good and bad, and I couldn’t be happier.
I’m not sure where this post is going, or what I’m even truly trying to say. Another thing that dragged me down about this blog. Trying so hard to always toe the line, to not piss people off or say something that someone may find offensive.
I’m calling bullshit on all that. My point is going to be this for 2016.
I no longer give a flying monkey fuck what others think. I’m going to be me, and that’s all I care about.
I’m not a racist, I’m not a bigot, or any of those other wonderfully PC -its words, I’m just Alex, a human fucking being.
2015 was a great year, there were highs and lows. I’m still broke as fuck, and unsure how we will pay the bills this month, but hey, I’m alive, healthy and have my family. I’ll get through this the same way I have gotten through every month in my adult life. By the skin of my teeth, but I’m still standing, still smiling, and still giving the finger to the system!
I will be back in 2016, but it will all be on my own damned terms.